Once upon a time there was a young woman named Sophie. She didn't consider her exterior as very pretty for she had crooked teeth, thin and oily hair, chubby cheeks, scars on her face, a flat chest, muscular arms, thick-skinned fingers, giant feet and short, hairy legs. In addition to those aesthetic features she couldn't help farting all the while which kept both friends and enemies at a distance. It just so happened that she realized there was nothing she could do to change her appearance thus did she decide to become sophisticated. At first, she had to teach herself to read. And once she had acquired the skill of reading she read some Tolstoy who taught her the skill of patience, after all was he a man of many words. Through the works of Austen Sophie learned what it meant to be an accomplished woman. Not only reading books seemed to be of importance but also being able to read music. So she learned to read sheet music and to play the piano. She also learned to play se