Sophisticated Sophie

Once upon a time there was a young woman named Sophie. She didn't consider her exterior as very pretty for she had crooked teeth, thin and oily hair, chubby cheeks, scars on her face, a flat chest, muscular arms, thick-skinned fingers, giant feet and short, hairy legs. In addition to those aesthetic features she couldn't help farting all the while which kept both friends and enemies at a distance.

It just so happened that she realized there was nothing she could do to change her appearance thus did she decide to become sophisticated. At first, she had to teach herself to read. And once she had acquired the skill of reading she read some Tolstoy who taught her the skill of patience, after all was he a man of many words. Through the works of Austen Sophie learned what it meant to be an accomplished woman. Not only reading books seemed to be of importance but also being able to read music. So she learned to read sheet music and to play the piano. She also learned to play several other instruments such as the harp and the guitar and the tambourine and the flute and oboe. It seemed to be of importance to be able to write so she taught herself the skill of writing and she started writing her own music, both the notes and the words. She wrote songs about Napoleons wide coat, about fancy tea parties in the garden, about love between classes and the death of costly horses - she wrote about everything she had ever read. She recorded some of her music and once the music was published, it was awarded and praised.

Sophie also read a lot of sophisticated magazines and when she disagreed with something written in one of such a magazine she would send a very sophisticated letter to the editor of the respective magazine. Sophie went to the university and started to take part in many debates. She learned the skills of diplomacy and she learned what it meant to know the "right people". She befriended influential business-owners who again offered sponsorship to her successful projects.

Sophie got into politics since she wanted to put an end to whale hunting. In her marine biological post-doctoral research she found a hidden link between whale hunting and climate change. She advocated for the immediate end of whale hunting in order to completely prevent climate change. It would give all people on Earth the freedom to continue living lavishly and carelessly, consuming all other natural resources despite whales.

Sophie was elected prime minister of Belgium and nominated President of Peace in the United Nations. She also got the title of most powerful woman in politics and sexiest human alive. Sophie got completely lost in her affairs, she forgot each insecurity that used to concern her about her appearance and suddenly the whole world saw her as the most beautiful woman that had ever lived. She lived happily ever after until she died of old age.