High on life

Life

Isn't about finding yourself

Or finding anything

Life

Is about creating yourself

And creating things

Tim stared into space.

He was high as the clouds.

All responsibilities didn't matter for a while. 

He just wanted to be high.

Life had been tough on him. Normal, but tough.

So many questions and no answers.

So many answers but no questions.

So much life and so little love.

Love in abundance but no one who listens.

Karaoke but nobody really listening to him sing.

His friend Tash asked him to join the stage so they could sing a song in Spanish.

Tim didn't know the song and didn't know any Spanish.

He felt humiliated.

Tash said he was fat.

That didn't feel nice.

They got drunk on Tequilas.

"Don't fall asleep in the pub", said Tash.

But what did it all really matter.

Tim waited many hours, wasted his time on Tash.

Tash didn't love him, she only cared about herself.

She never remembered anything Tim had said.

I was born in Blackwood, I grew up on a farm. We had mustangs. I rode in some horses, I whispered to them.

Tash remembered none of it.

She was an Influencer. Always on her phone. 50 thousand followers, no friends. 

Sometimes she filmed Tim and posted it on her Instagram. Tim didn't like that but let her do so.

Tash broke his heart.

But what did it all matter?

Ultimately, what does it all matter?

Ultimately, we can get this close to understanding the other person. But we will never really, fully get there. And that's kinda sad.

Tash, if you're reading this: We had good times and I like you. But I'm not sad it all ended. You weren't that nice to me and always on your phone, not really present. I wish you a good life.