You didn't see me

 You didn't see me lying under that bush by the river

You didn't see me lying there, crying my eyes out

A group of kids walked past but didn't see me

Still, I felt embarrassed. I could have scared them.

You didn't see me

And for all it was worth

I could have just not said it

I wish I had a second chance

You lived near but we never managed to find the time to meet up

I was driving past your home on a vacation and wanted to drop by. See how you're doing. Chat and laugh. Eat cookies.

But you didn't answer the phone. It was on but you didn't answer

You never answered again

First you couldn't speak, then your heart stopped beating.

You didn't see me lying under that bush

It was long before all this

But I also cried for you.

And for others.

You didn't see me lying under that bush.

But then you returned. Casually. Asking if you could be there in my life.

You said you missed me.

You didn't see me lying under that bush by the river

I loved that river.

You would have loved it too. Would you have gotten to see it.

I could have sent you a picture.

Yes, I could have.

I could have sent you ten postcards

I could have written you every day

I could have told you, I was lying under that bush.

I could have told you.

Then again, you didn't tell me everything.

You didn't see me... Oh just fuck off!

You lived. You died.

I lived. I'm still alive. One day I will die.

That's how it goes, end of story.

How does being alive feel like?

Biking in the cold rain. Swimming in the river. Returning home from the city after a night out with friends. Watching my kids learn new things about the world surrounding them. Talking, holding hands. Laughing, joking. Remembering, planning, living in the moment. Looking forward. Climbing that Devil's pass and realizing it wasn't that bad after all. Drinking whiskey while being drenched and soaked in water. 

You're welcome!